Sex Positive Feminism

Some people wonder how I can be a feminist and be okay with pornography. There are a lot of misconceptions about feminists and the history of feminism. I put together this mini essay in 2009 to clear this up and explain this stance.

What is a Sex Positive Feminist? 

Sex Positive Feminism, also known as: pro-sex feminism, sex-radical feminism, pro-porn feminism or sexually liberal feminism, is part of Third Wave Feminism started in the 1980s. The major issues of Sex Positivity include pornography, BDSM, sexual orientation, gender identity, access to contraception, being pro-choice, body image and sexual self esteem. It was issued as a response to pre Barnard feminist sexual policies which, in the height of the feminist sex wars encouraged policing of sexual desires and practices. Sex-positive feminists and sex radicals were able to create alternative spaces, resources, and counter-discourses that had tangible effects on many people's sexual lives and identities. Sex positivity is often also synonymous with terms like Lipstick Feministas or Girlie Feminism. Some people don't realize that it's feminism at all! Feminism today is often viewed as a dirty word, most people think of Second Wave feminism, with its derogation of marriage and emphasis on social and economic justice, has sold out a whole generation of women, who can't get hitched in the booming marketplace of sexual liberation. Second Wave feminism was also harshly critiqued as a middle class white woman's game as well as degrading men as lesser. These presumptions and arguments are nowadays antiquated and a propaganda that feminism is dead. It's no wonder that people aren't even familiar with the term "Third Wave feminism." The more general assumption is that the Second Wavers did their work--and not particularly well--and now we're stuck with a bucket-load of unsolvable problems.

Third Wave Feminism now contains a much larger focus than previous forms of feminism and sex positivity is well and alive. The state of the women's movement is contained in exemplary form as a phenomenon of female self-empowerment emerged in the 1990s with movies like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, activist groups like Riot Grrrl, and books like Elizabeth Wurtzel's Bitch. Sex positivity advocates girlie culture and the search for sexual self-esteem is so important for this generation. Social justice and social equality are still huge part of the modern Feminist movement, encompassing multicultralism, international women's rights and still fighting against the wage gap (Wyoming, the state I come from has one of the USA's most deplorable gaps Wyoming men earn an average of just under $40,000 per year, women in the state earn an average of just over $20,000. Wyoming women are paid less even within the same markets as men, particularly in the health field). Second Wave feminists still often critique that a focus on sexuality via equating lipsticks with empowerment, "however playful or ironic, and reclaiming such words as bitch and slut make a mockery of feminism's longtime and still unachieved goals of social and economic equality." (New York Times columnist, Anna Quindlen).

Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards, authors of the book Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism, and the Future respond with:

Richards: "What people don't understand is that talking about sex and sexual self-esteem is talking about equality. When I meet with high school students and they want to discuss sex, I realize we are talking about equality. It's just a different path to the same goal. I think we've seen women in our generation....who say, adamantly, 'I'm going to be female, and being female is just as valuable as being male.' I don't think these women are saying, 'I'm going to be female, going to be objectified, going to wear sexy clothes and so on, and be part of the backlash against feminism.' I think they're saying, 'I'm going to do all these things because I want to embrace my femininity.'

Baumgardner: "They're also not saying, 'I am inherently female. I am essentially female.' They're saying, 'I am not going to put on this female dress, role, what have you, because I do not want this thing that's called female to be considered stupid. And I like it!' What we were responding to [in Second Wavers' accusations that girlie culture is not real feminism] is that they are doing to younger women what men have done to them. Second Wavers are saying to us, 'You're silly. That isn't an important issue. What you talk about is dumb. Let me tell you what real feminism is. It's what we talk about.'"

So it seems an intergenerational struggle has sprung forth between mothers and daughters. On the one side are Second Wavers who lashed out against their sexually limiting roles as wives and mothers in exchange for equal pay and egalitarian partnerships. And on the other are Third Wavers who, perhaps dismissive of the battles fought and often won by their mothers, aspire to be Madonna, the woman who rose to fame as the ultimate virgin whore. "Third Wavers," say Baumgardner and Richards, "want to continue the fight for equal rights, but not to the detriment of their sexuality. They want to be both subject and object."

The major issue is that modern feminism is about choice. The choices of free women in a free world, deciding what's best for them and how they want to live their lives. Notice the plurals in that sentence -- choices. Not all women are going to agree on what they want to do with their lives. This is not only normal, it's encouraging.\ Feminism is about encouraging these choices. If a woman wants to be a house wife with five kids, then it's HER choice, if she wants to be a porn star, then it's HER choice, and if she wants to be CEO of Starbucks then it's HER choice.

An article in 11.3 Issue of The Communication Review Cultural, Lynn Comella interviewed sexologist and feminist author Carol Queen in an article called "The Necessary Revolution: Sex-Positive Feminism in the Post-Barnard Era" who says this of about sex-positivity:

"It’s the cultural philosophy that understands sexuality as a potentially positive force in one’s life, and it can, of course, be contrasted with sex-negativity, which sees sex as problematic, disruptive, dangerous. Sexpositivity allows for and in fact celebrates sexual diversity, differing desires and relationships structures, and individual choices based on consent. People sometimes argue against sex-positivity as too Utopian and unrealistic because so many people have had terrible, negative sexual experiences, but remember that sexuality is a potentially positive element of our lives, and if someone’s experiences have been negative, why? Is it because they’ve had too little information, support, opportunities for choice? These are the cultural conditions that sex-positivity allows us to point out as curtailers of healthy, enjoyable sexual experience."

Another great explanation comes from feminist blogger Amanda Holloway said this about herself:

"I am a sex positive feminist. I believe that being in control of one’s sexual self involves having access to information that allows for informed decision making. I also believe that it involves access to the medical treatments and technology –from condoms to regular Pap smears to Gardasil to abortion procedures – that put women in charge of their bodies. I believe in sexual self-determination, that each person has a right to determine who she will be intimate with, and in what context, without being judged for her choices or forced into others. I believe that being in control of one’s sexual self is an integral part of autonomous adulthood, and until women are given the right to control our sexual selves we will continue to be treated like children in this paternalistic society.

I reject the traditional representation of all things sexual as dirty or shameful. I do not believe that “anything consensually sexual goes, as long as orgasm is the aim.” I believe that anything consensually sexual goes; I don’t care if you’re doing it or not, how you do it, what genders you prefer to do it with, how many people you do (at once or separately), if you’re using porn or sex toys, or if you like it kinky, as long as you’ve got the information you need to make informed decisions. I stand just as strongly for a woman’s right not to have sex (of any kind) if she doesn’t want to, and I believe that women who make that decision deserve support and protection as well. I do not believe that I am an object belonging to the person I’m having sex with, unless I want to be. I do not believe I am a victim of masculine sexuality.

I also believe that my role is a political one: not just to advocate for freedom-to-fuck, but to advocate for women’s rights over their bodies, access to care, and comprehensive sexuality education, and to keep assholes like Keroack from ruining the progress we’ve made. Without these fundamentals, how can we be in control of our bodies? I don’t believe in the transformation of sexuality, because it is too fluid to mold; it isn’t sexuality that needs to change, but the gendered and judgmental framework within which we view it.

Do I believe that’s all there is to feminism? No. But I do feel the need to differentiate my feminist beliefs from those of women who believe that pornography and sex work are the means by which men are keeping women in their place. I refuse to be a victim of some imaginary universal male sexual sadism, and I refuse to believe the only way women can be equal with men is by denying our sexual selves. I like to be good and fucked now and then (or now and... now). Does that make me a tool of the patriarchy? I don’t think so."